Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize