sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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