life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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