i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My bed smells like the plague
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
