she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
