So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
