help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
