i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
