i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I believe in your delicious
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize