i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize