i just wanna soil my oats bro
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
