Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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