loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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