Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
