wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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