He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
