I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
