This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
