I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
