its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
