EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
