can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
