Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
