i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
