Sponge bath it is.
Nicole vs. Life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
