I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
