is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
