Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
