It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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