Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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