Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
