So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
