Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
