you win again, gameday.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
