AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
