apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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