Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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