Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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