Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
