I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
