Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hadjihunter hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.

Fav 4 2995 1243
share tweet
(620): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

Fav 10 5036 1128
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

Fav 18 2445 922
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

Fav 21 3223 1213
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

Fav 8 1047 705
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?

Fav 4 863 931
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?

Fav 7 649 860
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.

Fav 2 29 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.

Fav 0 64 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT