After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize