Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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