If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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