Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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