I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
