Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
