I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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