Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
