do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
