if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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