I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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