How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
