Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
