there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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