Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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