I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
