Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
