Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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