What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
