i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't deserve a penis
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
