i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize