they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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