I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
