dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
