Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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