I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Houston, we have a blender
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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