would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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