My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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