I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize