we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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