Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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