I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
