State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
