glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
